I’m sorry fat girls, but this one is for you…

For more than a month, I’ve been going to the local mall nearly every day during my lunch hour. Now, I do this for a few reasons. One, I like to get a little exercise in during the day. I hate to call myself a “mall walker”, but it is what it is. I’m not trying to weigh 485 pounds. Besides the health benefits, I like to go just take a break from work and not think about anything.

But fat girls—Well, I guess I should throw ugly girls into the equation—you nasty beings fuck up my trip the mall nearly every single day. It’s not the fact that you’re fat or ugly that bothers me. No, it’s the stores you shop in and then proudly parade around the mall with this specific stores bag in hand.

What store am I talking about? Victoria Secret. Normally, I’m all about this store. I go in with my girlfriend, smell perfume, look at lingerie, and generally fantasize about having sex with girls out of my league. It’s a good time. But inevitably, something always happens to ruin my good time. Yes, it’s you fat girl. And to a less extent, it’s you too ugly girl (I can deal with it if you’re boobs are huge). I see you looking at lingerie, or for some reason unbeknownst to me, I see you buying the products.

If I go into Victoria Secret, I go knowing that I’m probably going to be getting some later, or at the very least, I get to think of sexy girls wearing this stuff. So why, fat girl, must you ruin my fun and make me visualize what you might look like in these outfits that are clearly not made for you? Why? When you’re 6′2 and 215 lbs, lingerie was not made for you. Believe me, those are my measurements, and it just doesn’t look right. I’ve tried.

So consider this. I’ve come up with a solution to the problem. Even though fat girls should be banned from wearing lingerie, we know they won’t listen and will continue to buy the stuff anyway. I’m not calling for a ban on fat girl lingerie wear. I’m simply recommending separate entrance ways, store sections, and maybe even hours for fat and ugly girls to shop at these types of stores. If we do something as simple as this, millions of men can be spared the sickening thoughts ogres like you accidentally create by shopping in these stores.