I love you (dumbass)
For the most part, the list of people I’ve considered a friend has been very short throughout my lifetime. It’s not that I have trouble making friends. More or less, there just aren’t that many people out there that are worth trusting to be a true friend. Whether you like it or not, most people you come in contact with are selfish assholes who are always looking to “one-up” their status in life. I don’t have patience for those types of people. I think there are certain ways you should treat people, and if you don’t do those types of things, to hell with you. I just won’t waste my time.
But before I go on, I guess I should take a second to qualify what I mean when I say friend. A friend to me isn’t someone you simply like, can laugh with, or have occasional run of the mill conversations with. Those types of people, for me, are known as acquaintances. I have a ton of these kinds of people in my life. While they may be cool, I never consider(ed) them my friend. Just because we smile at each other when we ask “what have you been up to” doesn’t make us friends. I can do the same thing with a stranger at a bar, and trust me, they aren’t my friends either.
To me, the definition of a friend is trust. If I can tell you anything in the world without fear of you throwing it back in my face and I can do the same for you, that’s what makes you a friend.
I guess that’s why I never really understood girls (not that this is solely a female characteristic, but predominate you’d have to agree) and how they treat one another. Why put time and effort into someone you really don’t care for? If you don’t like them, don’t talk to them. Why is that so hard? Why put up a front for someone, pretend you like them, and then bash them every time their name comes? Why not just cut them off and save your time for people you actually enjoy?
I watched my sister do it all the time when we were growing up, and I continue to see it with my girlfriend on a smaller scale. I’ve explained the “if you don’t like them, don’t talk to them” logic, but it never sticks. I usually get a response like “that’s just how girls are”. Okay. Well, that’s dumb.
One of my best friends, someone who said they’d make me the best man in their wedding, drove me absolutely insane the last two times he visited me. So what did I do about it? I didn’t end the relationship, but I cut back on the communication, and pretty much all talks of visiting me have ceased over the past 7 or 8 months. He’s still my friend, but if he’s going to drive me up the wall with his negativity, why put myself in that kind of environment if I don’t have to? Why more people don’t react like that, as opposed to putting up with stuff you don’t like about someone is beyond me.
So consider this. You’re not doing you or your so called friend any favors be putting up a front. Nobody needs “fake” around. So, put them through that, and more importantly, why do it to your self?
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good call. I’m the same way…I mean I couldnt tell you how many “acquaintences” I have..but true friends? I could count on one hand.
My biggest dilema has been staying good friends with exs. My two closest friends are exs and when I meet a new girl, they generally dont care for that too much, but whatever, true friends will always be there, and I value that much more than any passer-by type of girl.
Andy - March 7, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Sometimes you have to keep certain people around you that you may not like because they may be able to get you stuff. Whether it be a better job or a free 12 pack, etc. Sometimes, people like this have to be around.
bronsonfive - March 7, 2008 at 4:47 pm
I’m a girl and I still can count my true friends on one hand – make that one finger. I agree that real friendship is about trust. Sometimes, being a girl is really difficult. I don’t know who started it but we usually pick on each other…and I hate that kind of situation.
It’s good to hear a guy’s viewpoint form time to time, like yours, cause I had to learn it the hard way about this trust thing. I had to get hurt first in order to wake up and realize, “what am I doing???”
So yes, I cut my so-called Friend List. Stroke out many names. :P Bronsonfive is right too. Some people are there to ‘help’ us achieve our goals…but I don’t really call them friends :P
Cheers! And thanks.
glaize - May 1, 2008 at 5:39 pm